Don't blink! You might have missed my first drink. For those who don't know, I stopped drinking for a really long time. Sobriety for me totaled over seven months and I found it to be the most enlightening experience EVER. I even wrote a book about it (shameless plug), in case you didn't know.
I hesitated to share my first drink (since all of that) publicly for those might be looking to me for inspiration and support and reasons to keep on staying sober themselves. But I never wrote the book for recovering addicts in the first place. Did addicts get something from it? I am not sure. I hope so. I know a few who have purchased the book. But again, I did not write it for the people out there who feel like they cannot make it in life without professional help. I sort of wrote it for everyone else. Everyone who drinks, doesn't really interfere with their life. But there is a grey area for them and feel alcohol doesn't really serve them a whole lot, they don't really feel a dependency to it, but also they cannot really say "NO." That was me, that was who the book was for. And the book was also for anyone else who got anything at all out of it.
So I had another drink! Yup. After 7 months. Why start again? Because I knew it wasn't ever going to be a life style for me ever again. Because I wanted to observe what happened to me with it. And also because my husband was leaving for war and he wanted to have a drink with me. I thought, well, really I am making a conscious decision to do this FOR him. (should he have wanted me to drink? Well THAT is another blog) But he was leaving, and when they leave you are not sure if they are ever coming back. Why would you not want to be totally present and sober for those last days? THAT is another blog too. Our relationship is a really complicated one. We have had some troubles. And I will admit that I thought joining him at his level of consciousness that night might have been an ok thing to do. He absolutely loves drinking and had to say goodbye to it for a year. So I said goodbye to it with him.
Turns out it wasn't that good. I felt nothing from the wine we chose. It made me feel sluggish and not really happy. I have also noticed since then, I have had different wines and drinks here and there that make me feel deliriously happy. Perhaps it is the mood we are in, or the mood of those around us when we drink that effects how we feel? Perhaps it is the food we have eaten or not eaten that day? I am sure it is endless factors that contribute. But my first time back at drinking, I decided to stay conscious. I did not have that many drinks. I think I had two. And I chose to drink wine with my parents when they came to visit and one or two other times as well over the past two months. Each time felt different. Each time I stayed conscious and present and decided to stop before I got too crazy with it. And each morning after, I didn't feel hung over, I just felt sluggish and slightly depressed. So I learned and re-learned what I already knew. Sometimes alcohol brings joy and celebration, sort of, but more often it brings despair and a snow ball effect of bad decisions and slumping energy. I found myself not getting out of bed as easy since I was sober. I found myself slowly gaining weight back on, yes, even with just a few days of drinking sporadically. When I abstained from alcohol following after a night of drinking a couple, the days since the drinking felt better and better each day without the alcohol. Nothing I didn't already know.
But the best news to me was, after welcoming alcohol back into my life for a brief moment, I got really excited about giving it up again! I am eagerly planning my 21 day cleanse I do every September. I start tomorrow and I cannot wait! So I realized in these past two months, that I have forever changed my life when I took that fateful seven month sabbatical with sobriety. I recommend EVERYONE take at least 6 months, if not a year off of drinking in their life, if they don't already abstain from alcohol....and I DON'T mean for pregnancy. I mean regular old, being sober for YOURSELF. It is a wonderful time to reflect, be clear, clean, journal and give your health a super duper gift.
My seven months did change me forever. I am SO READY to cleanse now. I am so excited to lose the last ten pounds I have to lose. I hit a weight loss plateau last year in my fitness and weight loss journey. I knew it was all food-related. A cleanse gets me back on the right track in so many ways. The Ultimate Reset Cleanse broke that plateau that I thought would NEVER be broken. It is the safest, finest cleanse on the market. That weight has nearly all stayed off, but I am not yet quite at my goal weight still. I am sure I will get there with this second round of cleansing. And I plan to do this cleanse yearly. So exciting.
Aside from the alcohol lately, I know my diet has been less than desirable. I have gone through some serious, dramatic stress. And I am not a perfect health and diet nutritionist guru. I lean on food and alcohol (used to) when I feel stress. I know this. And I get better and better as the years go by. I keep my goals in mind and go easy on myself when I stumble. So the cookies and cheat meals have happened a little more often than I would like to admit. But I am human! And man this stress has been real. But I know this is not the authentic ME, to cheat this much. So I am rectifying it! Join me cleansing!!! It is the second best gift you can give to your life and human experience! I have an incredible, free, private support group for it. Let me know if you want in. And thanks no matter what for reading and following along with my journey. I hope to inspire many to take care of their ONE life they are given.
Good vibes and high fives, Coach Becca
One of my cheat meals or PRE-tox splurges recently from a local Italian delivery joint. Totally worth it. But at the same time, making me feel sluggish and dragged down and that 'aint cool. I am over it....again :)
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